Archives for posts with tag: love

The Night her blackest Sable wore,
And gloomy were the Skies;
And glitt’ring Stars there were no more,
Than those in Stella’s Eyes:
When at her Father’s Gate I knock’d,
Where I had often been,
And Shrowded only with her Smock,
The Fair one let me in.

Fast lock’d within her close Embrace,
She trembling lay asham’d;
Her swelling Breast, and glowing Face,
And every touch inflam’d:
My eager Passion I obey’d,
Resolv’d the Fort to win;
And her fond Heart was soon betray’d,
To yield and let me in.

Then! then! beyond expressing,
Immortal was the Joy;
I knew no greater blessing,
So great a God was I:
And she transported with delight.
Oft pray’d me come again;
And kindly vow’d that every Night,
She’d rise and let me in.

But, oh! at last she prov’d with Bern,
And sighing sat and dull;
And I that was as much concern’d,
Look’d then just like a Fool:
Her lovely Eyes with tears run o’er,
Repenting her rash Sin;
She sigh’d and curs’d the fatal hour,
That e’er she let me in.

But who could cruelly deceive.
Or from such Beauty part;
I lov’d her so, I could not leave
The Charmer of my Heart:
But Wedded and conceal’d the Crime,
Thus all was well again;
And now she thanks the Blessed Hour,
That e’er she let me in.


A subtle scent fills my senses. “Are you wearing perfume?” I ask. “Yes”. “It smells nice” I reply rapidly leaving the living room to hide my embarrassment  . “Thanks” I hear you say as I exit my lounge.
I am twice your age and some more and yet I am drawn to you. Just sixteen you sit on my sofa wearing your school uniform. Conscience struggles with lust within me. You could be my daughter but does that matter? The law says that you are mature enough to have sex. You are not a child but not quite a woman, perhaps that is your attraction to me.
What would you do if I asked “may I touch your face?” Would you   allow my hands to gently explore your face with it’s soft black skin. Would you enjure my touch or, perhaps derive pleasure from my caresses? Where you to respond to my touch with pleasure what then? Would I dive in, take you and make you mine for the moment? If I did what then, after the love making, what then?
You are sweet, can I destroy that youthful inocence? No I can not and yet if you show that you want me what then? Can I hold back and, if not what about the “wee small voice of conscience” afterwards?

When lovely woman stoops to folly,
And finds too late that men betray,—
What charm can soothe her melancholy,
What art can wash her guilt away?

The only art her guilt to cover,
To hide her shame from every eye,
To give repentance to her lover,
And wring his bosom, is—to die.

“We all pay for sex” is a statement one frequently hears although it’s precise formulation varies depending on the speaker. The argument goes as follows. Wealthy elderly gentlemen can frequently be seen with ladies several decades their junior. Such women are, for the most part “good time girls” who have no love for their partner but stay with him due to his money and the expensive lifestyle which it enables them to enjoy. At a less exalted level the man of more limited means also pays for sex, “Darling I love that dres” she says smiling in a manner which promises a night of passion should he choose to dig into his wallett and purchase it.
In the above examples the men have paid for sex just as surely as the client who hands over cash to a sex worker for “personal services”. The exchange is more subtle however it does, according to this perspective amount to the same thing, namely that the men in question have bought sex.
Where I to win the National Lottery and become a millionaire (an amazing feat given that I don’t play it but let us suppose for the sake of argument that I do), then I’m certain that I’d find myself fighting off the attentions of ladies who would previously not have given me the time of day. My new found “friends” would, given half a chance prove themselves to be very obliging in helping me to spend my new found wealth!
All of the above is true in that there are ladies (and men) who are motivated by greed rather than love. The beautiful young lady on the arm of her rich elderly companion may well not be an escort, however if her reason for being with him stems from a love of his money (rather than him as an individual) then she is engaging in prostitution albeit indirectly.
However the fact that some people are motivated by money rather than love should not be taken as proof of the contention that “we all pay for sex”. I know through my own experience and that of my friends that love does exist. True love is not dependent on the financial assets of one’s partner, it stems from feelings residing deep within the heart.

I frequently ponder as to why I see escort girls. Part of the reason resides in my need for a sexual release. As a single man I have a relatively high sex drive and, on occasions I feel the desire to have intercourse. Although I have experienced some sensational sex with prostitutes, on many occasions (perhaps the majority) I’m left feeling that I could have obtained greater satisfaction through self masturbation. On the whole I, as with most people on this planet of ours know what arouses me and how to achieve orgasm by self stimulation in the most pleasurable way. Of course at it’s best sex with a prostitute can be more enjoyable than masturbation if the girl in question is a professional who takes pride in her work. By this I mean a sex worker who asks or instinctively knows what will turn me on (kissing among other things) and goes ahead and does what I require. However, as I said above, a lot of sex with prostitutes has been mediocre or poor, consequently there must be other factors which lead me to seek the company of ladies of the night.
Loneliness combined with sexual desire is the primary factor which leads me to use escorts. I have several close male friends however, as a hetrosexual male I feel the need for female companionship and, not to put too finer point on it, sex. Being rather shy I find it difficult to form relationships with ladies (I have had several long-term relationships, one a failed marriage and the other a year long liaison with a girlfriend), however, as stated above I do in general find it difficult to form meaningful relationships with women.
I know that seeing prostitutes will not make me happy in the sense of furnishing a warm and stable relationship with a lady who loves me and I love in return so why do I continue to use prostitutes? I often ask myself the self same question on awaking in the cold light of dawn and having to face the recollection of the night before. Sometimes my recollections are of a sweet lady who provided an excellent service however, more frequently than not the memories revolve around stilted conversation with someone with whom I have nothing in common combined with mediocre sex. Perhaps I prove the validity of Kipling’s lines “And the burnt fool’s bandaged finger goes wabbling back to the fire”. Certainly I’ve returned to the fire of escorting despite getting burnt on numerous occasions. However I have faith in myself. I am no fool. I can and will stop seeing escorts. For me happiness lies in a warm and loving relationship with a lady not in encounters with numerous working girls most of who’s names (real or working names) escape me.

“Into Temptation” by Crowded House is one of my all time favourite songs. It speaks of the conflict between what one knows/feels is right and the overpowering desire to fall into temptation “right where you belong”.
“As I turned to go you looked at me for half a second with an open invitation to go into temptation”! Absolutely brilliant. Again “the guilty get no sleep in the last slow hours of morning” speaks for itself. If you haven’t heard this song I suggest you check it out. It is on Crowded House’s album “Recurring Dream”. You can find the lyrics for the song here

The world of escorting is filled with dishonesty. That is not to say that most escorts are dishonest, rather the very nature of the industry tends to foster dishonesty.
Let us start with the milder forms of being economical with the truth. As anyone who has visited the website of an Escort Agency will know the company lists the age of the escorts on offer thereby allowing a gentleman in search of a slim 19-year-old blonde to quickly select his companion. However that 19-year-old blonde will, very likely turn out to be a 23-24 year-old who happens to look as though she is 19-years-old. I remember choosing a young lady who’s profile described her as being 22 years of age. Following her arrival at my home we began chatting about the world of escorting. I asked her how old she was and was informed that she was 24 (not 22) years of age. It is a common practice for agencies to reduce the age of their escorts due to the belief (almost certainly correct) that clients prefer younger women. I don’t blame the escorts for this lack of honesty (most of them will freely admit their true age) but I do question the ethics of those agencies who lie about the age of the escorts on offer.
A trick employed by some escorts is to leave early. On numerous occasions I have agreed to pay an escort for one hour’s companionship/rendering of personal services, only for her to leave after 20-30 minutes. On challenging one working girl who began dressing after some 20 minutes      as to why she was leaving early she responded “You know the score”. I thought “indeed I do, I pay you for one hour and you f off after 20 minutes. You are a rip-off merchant. In such a situation there is nothing a client can do other than to leave a negative review on a website which carries punter reviews, report the matter to the agency and tick the lady in question off his list of escorts to see again.
Whenever an escort visits I ensure that only the money with which I’ll be paying her is visible. My wallett, credit cards etc are hidden away. In my experience most girls won’t steal due to it being against their moral code and due to the knowledge that the client will report the theft to the police, however I prefer to take no chances and my valuables will continue to remain hidden.
During my years of seeing working girls I’ve only ever come across one case of financial dishonesty. One agency which I used to use on a regular basis (they went out of business) accepted cheques with a cheque guarantee card. The cheque had been written for £100 but, on checking my account balance using telephone banking I discovered that the amount had been altered to read £180. Fortunately I was in time to cancel the transaction and the bank waived their usual cancelation fee. I have ever since been wary of paying by any means other than cold hard cash.
In fairness I must point out that escort girls are themselves vunnerable to theft. I know of ladies who have had money removed from bags while visiting the bathroom and of others, who have accepted a cheque only for the cheque to bounce.
At a fundamental level clients can lie to themselves regarding the relationships they have with working girls. It is easy for a customer to mistake (or fool himself) that the kindness and open personality of an escort implies that she is (or could in time) fall in love with him). I’ve no doubt that a client-escort relationship can turn into love, however this is very much the exception rather than the rule and those who deceive themselves into believing that the friendly personality of an escort implies that she has feelings for him is barking up the wrong tree. Heartache awaits those who seek true love in the arms of a working girl.