Archives for posts with tag: morality

A subtle scent fills my senses. “Are you wearing perfume?” I ask. “Yes”. “It smells nice” I reply rapidly leaving the living room to hide my embarrassment  . “Thanks” I hear you say as I exit my lounge.
I am twice your age and some more and yet I am drawn to you. Just sixteen you sit on my sofa wearing your school uniform. Conscience struggles with lust within me. You could be my daughter but does that matter? The law says that you are mature enough to have sex. You are not a child but not quite a woman, perhaps that is your attraction to me.
What would you do if I asked “may I touch your face?” Would you   allow my hands to gently explore your face with it’s soft black skin. Would you enjure my touch or, perhaps derive pleasure from my caresses? Where you to respond to my touch with pleasure what then? Would I dive in, take you and make you mine for the moment? If I did what then, after the love making, what then?
You are sweet, can I destroy that youthful inocence? No I can not and yet if you show that you want me what then? Can I hold back and, if not what about the “wee small voice of conscience” afterwards?

On Monday evening I return home from work to find my flat cleaned and my clothes ironed and put away. I don’t have a partner and the housework isn’t performed by wee people out of the pages of Grim’s Fairytales. As with a growing number of professionals I employ a cleaner. On the few occasions I’m at home when my cleaner comes to clean I’m filled with a mixture of thoughts and emotions. On the one hand I want to relax reading a book, watching television etc, however, on the other I feel a sense of guilt that a fellow human being is busily stripping my bed, vacuuming the carpets etc while I have my feet up. Why should I feel this way? I don’t experience the same feelings when a lady or man serves me at the check out in my local supermarket so why should I experience this twinge of guilt when my cleaner comes to clean?
My home is my private space, the place in which I relax and unwind after a hard day’s work. There is a small part of me which feels that I should be fully responsible for my home and do my own housework. Shades of Upstairs Downstairs (a television programme showing an upper class household in the late 19th and early 20th centuries  swim before my eyes). Unlike the fictional household portrayed in Upstairs Downstairs I don’t employ a whole bevy of servants, just the one cleaning lady who cleans for me, for 3 hours a week. In Upstairs Downstairs the relationship between the upper class household and their servants (the latter group living downstairs) is paternalistic and hierarchical. The servants have their own eating area (the servant’s hall) and would never dream of eating with the upper class household. My relationship with my cleaner is wholly different. I will, if I am at home offer her coffee or tea and make us both a drink. I don’t regard her as a lesser human being due to her work and yet I feel this nagging doubt, from time to time at the back of my mind regarding the ethics of the situation. At a logical level this is ilogical. If my toilet gets blocked I will call out a plumber to fix the problem and feel no guilt whatever about doing so. Why then should I feel a twinge of conscience merely because I employ a cleaner? The answer is I shouldn’t. In the unlikely event that I inherit a vast sum of money I would move to a big house and employ not only a cleaner but a gardener to keep the place in good order. Employing someone to clean your home isn’t wrong provided that you treat them with respect and pay a decent wage. Having said that I will no doubt continue to experience those twinges of guilt the next time I’m at home and my cleaner comes to clean.

“Into Temptation” by Crowded House is one of my all time favourite songs. It speaks of the conflict between what one knows/feels is right and the overpowering desire to fall into temptation “right where you belong”.
“As I turned to go you looked at me for half a second with an open invitation to go into temptation”! Absolutely brilliant. Again “the guilty get no sleep in the last slow hours of morning” speaks for itself. If you haven’t heard this song I suggest you check it out. It is on Crowded House’s album “Recurring Dream”. You can find the lyrics for the song here http://www.songmeanings.net/songs/view/67094/

I met Louise (not her real name) through one of the UK’s larger escort agencies. She had nicely proportioned breasts (not to big and not to small, just how I like them), with blue eyes and blonde hair. She had a strong Brazilian accent but her English was good.
I liked Louise because of her sweet personality. One time I haden’t managed to climax. I didn’t tell Louise this until she asked me directly. Having become aware that I haden’t come she began to kiss my neck very softly and gently which soon made me achieve my goal. The cynic or realist depending on one’s point of view might well conclude that Louise wished to make me orgasm so that I’d aske to see her again which would mean more money. I guess that this was part of the reason for Louise kissing me so erotically, however this is not, I think the whole truth. Louise could with her looks have (and did) attract many clients so me not asking for her again would have been neither here nor there. She acted as she did because she wanted to make me happy, she derived a genuine pleasure from having done so.
I liked Louise and I believe that she also liked me. I don’t flatter myself that we were friends (such a relationship rarely develops between client and escort). We did though develop a feeling of mutual respect and I recall Louise once starting to cry after I’d expressed my gratitude for her help in resolving a problem with my computer (not within the job description of your average escort I think)! Louise was I suspect moved by my gratitude which somehow made her become emotional.
Louise as with so many sex workers (perhaps the majority) had an inner sadness which she kept hidden behind her bright exterior. Perhaps the incident with the computer moved her so profoundly as someone was treating her as more than a mere vehicle for their pleasure.
I don’t know what happend to Louise but wherever she is I wish her the very best of luck. I hope you are happy in your life my former intimate companion.

In the United Kingdom escort agencies are legal entities. Agencies offer “companionship” but it is a barely disguised secret that the customer is paying for more than company, he/she is paying for sex.
I have used the services of escorts on a regular basis and this blog will, on occasions deal with my experiences of paying for sex. It would be dishonest of me to deny that I have enjoyed some of these encounters greatly, that I have been left feeling sexually fulfilled with a desire for more of the same, however in most cases the feeling I am left with after having slept with an escort is one of emptiness and “Christ what am I doing with my life”.
Tiffany (not her real name) was a slim 24-year-old with black hair and eyes. She wore a short skirt and no stockings (I love the feel of bare skin). I’d paid £240 for her “company” and was hoping for a toe curling erotic experience combined with some good conversation.
“don’t touch my face you will spoil my make-up”. I stopped touching this attractive lady’s face a feeling of sadness coming over me. What had I expected from this encounter? Tiffany was a working girl. To her I was nothing more than a source of income for her lifestyle which so far as I could ascertain involved spending the day getting a tan, on the sun bed and socialising with friends. The sex, when it came was mechanical. I couldn’t come through intercourse and Tiffany finished me off by hand.
Although I’d paid for 2 hours I felt empty, I wanted to say goodbye , for Tiffany to go and for me to enter the blessed world of slumber. Finally the time came. I gave Tiffany a perfunctory hug, thanked her for “a nice time” and, closing the front door felt a wave of relief wash over me.
It is often said that the client’s of prostitutes regard sex workers as mere “objects” with no feelings who’s only function is to give sexual gratification. Well on this occasion I, as a customer felt like a mere object who’s only purpose was to fund this young lady’s lifestyle. Tiffany was not unpleasant. She made (we both made) a valiant efort to converse, however having nothing in common it was a chore rather than a pleasure for me and, I’m sure for her also.

The perception in the mind of many is of the prostitute as an exploited being. Visions of brutal pimps who force young women (and, on occasions underage children) into the sex trade fill the minds of such individuals. In 1999 the Swedish government acting in accordance with this view introduced a law criminalising those who pay for sex. The law is based on the belief that demand is driving supply, therefore if one can cut off demand by introducing criminal sanctions prostitution and the exploitation which (according to this perception inevitably goes with it) will decline. The selling of sex remains legal due to the belief that it would be wrong to criminalise sex workers who are already being exploited by men. The Swedish government holds that men are the stronger party and, as such should be seen as the exploiter.
Under the law a number of men have been fined for paying for sex although none have (to the best of my knowledge) been imprisoned.
To state the blindingly obvious, the forcing of anyone into prostitution is a dispicable crime and the full force of the criminal law should be used to punish those guilty of such crimes. However much prostitution does not entail the use of force. One can argue that the person who gets into debt and chooses to pay off their debts by entering the world of prostitution has been forced by circumstance to make such a choice. However one can not contend that the client who takes advantage of services which are freely offered is exploiting the sex worker. The client wants a sexual service and, in return for payment the prostitute is prepared to accommodate that want/need/desire (call it what you will). The customer can not in all justice be held responsible for the decision of the prostitute to enter sex work and it is morally wrong to punish him for participating in consensual sexual activity with another adult.
Some will respond that no one freely chooses to enter prostitution. I reply hogwash. Merely because one can not conceive of another person choosing to enter the sex trade it does not follow that people do not make such choices, many do and as free persons one must respect their right to do so.
It is said that no one has the right to buy another human being and that supporters of decriminalisation of prostitution are supporting the idea that prostitutes may be bought and sold. Prostitution is, in this view a form of modern slavery and those who use prostitutes are guilty of perpetuating this modern day slave trade. This is a specious argument. Slavery entails the ownership of one person by a fellow human being and in most of it’s manifestations has entailed the owner having complete power over the slave. Slaves in the American south where treated with unspeakable cruelty by the majority of slave owners and even those masters who showed humanity still accepted the validity of the institution of slavery. In contrast those who freely choose to enter the world of prostitution are selling their body, for a limited time to a customer. The client does not own the sex worker and once the service has been provided customer and sex worker go their separate ways. Unlike slavery the client has no impunity from prosecution if he asaults the prostitute (nor should he)!
In conclusion it can be said that many people do freely choose to enter the world of prostitution. There choices should be respected as should those of those who choose to use the services of a sex worker. Obviously the law should be used to hunt down those who force vunnerable individuals into prostitution. Traffickers are beneath contempt and deserve to be punished with upmost severity but trafficking is wholly distinct (and should not be confused with) consensual sex, in return for payment.