Archives for posts with tag: sex worker

I have read Harry Clifton’s Monsoon Girl innumerable times, however I remain unable to fully comprehend the poem. On the surface Monsoon Girl is about an affair between a westerner and a Thai girl, however when one delves deeper Clifton provides hints that the girl may be a prostitute “Your nudity dapples the walls with shadows, and splashes the mirrors like a vision, in the blue light that bathes you, a pleasure-girl on a lost planet, sincere but only at night …”. The term “pleasure-girl” hints at a lady who in return for the things which money can buy provides sexual services, in other words a prostitute. However the words “We’ll come here again, as we did before …”. may suggest a mistress rather than a prostitute. In Thailand the line between prostitute and mistress can be very thin.
Clifton intimates that the relationship is not one of equals, ” … and dream the rainy months away on pampered beds where forgetfulness lies down with executive power …”. It isn’t explicitly stated but the implication is that the man in the poem is a rich western executive availing himself of the services of a Thai sex worker. Alternatively the girl in the poem may be an employee of the powerful executive who is engaged in an affair with him either out of love, for money or, perhaps a mixture of motives.
The poem ends with the implication of exploitation, “elsewhere the night will separate us, having sowed within you miscarriage of juice forever …”. I’m not sure what to make of these lines. Perhaps the man in the poem has infected his partner with a sexually transmitted disease rendering her infertile.

(For Monsoon Girl by Harry Clifton see The New Poetry edited by Michael hulse. Bloodaxe Books, pages 174-175).

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As a child I was physically abused by my mum’s partner. The abuse occured over many years and entailed having my head held under water in the bathroom sink and being forced to hold a vacuum cleaner above my head for a prolonged period. One particular incident which sticks in my mind entailed my mum’s partner twisting my arm so hard that I thought it would break. My mum was outside the front door and was not able to see what was happening inside the house. She called to me asking whether I would like to go to the supermarket with her. I answered “yes” and Dave (I’ll use his real name as none of you know who I am) said I couldn’t go and twisted my arm behind my back until I called to my mum that I had changed my mind and that I did not, in fact wish to accompany her to the supermarket.
Another vivid incident which remains indelibly imprinted in my mind involved me reading an amusing book while my mum and Dave where watching television. The book being very amusing I laughed frequently. Once my mum went to bed Dave strangled me and said that I shouldn’t have laughed. Obviously he didn’t kill me  or I’d hardly be writing this now! However he did cut off my air supply for several seconds and I was, to put it mildly extremely frightened.
These experiences knocked a great deal of confidence out of me and I believe that they are a significant factor explaining why I use prostitutes. I like women and love chatting about books and other things which interest me. I often make ladies laugh and know that I have a good sense of humour. However I find it difficult to pluck up the courage to ask ladies out. It is all too easy to pick up the phone and order an escort from an escort agency. Encounters with escorts don’t entail love. At best one achieves a sexual release and can enjoy a conversation with a nice lady but, at worst they leave me feeling empty and sad.
I have had several long-term relationships with ladies including one failed marriage.
I need a proper relationship but to achieve this I need to give up my use of sex workers, take my courage in both hands and go out and meet ladies.

On 20 July I wrote about how Mercbaby, a working girl who advertises her services on adultwork.com had stolen the sum of £120 from me (see https://someonesomewhere00.wordpress.com/2012/07/20/theft-by-mercbaby-of-adultwork-com/). This post is by way of an update on the situation. Unlike in fairy tales the story has not had a happy ending!
I did report the theft to the police, however there advice was not to press charges as it would not be in the public interest to do so. The argument of the police is that they have limited resources and it is more productive to use them in solving crimes of violence. As a secondary issue the policeman with whom I spoke advised me that the media might well take an interest in the case (if it came to court) with the obvious potential for embarrassment to yours truly in terms of having my face splashed across the media. Being a retiring kind of soul I acted on the premise that discretion is the better part of valour and opted not to press charges.
I am still angry over what happened (who wouldn’t be)! however I am a believer in the old saying that “what goes around comes around”. Sooner or later Mercbaby will be faced with a client who steals from her or refuses to pay for a service which she has provided. When this happens Mercedes will have no right to complain (although, doubtless she will do so loudly) as the customer will only be doing to her what she has done to me and, for all I know to others also). Life has a way of repaying both the good and the bad turns we do and Mercbaby will, I’m sure find that out sooner or later.
One of the points which the police made concerns the fact that the world of escorting/sex work operates in a legal grey area (I.E. it’s not illegal but it is on the margins of legality). This is a big problem the answer to which is, surely to decriminalise prostitution thereby protecting both sex workers and clients. Sooner or later this will, I think come to pass but the moral police who wish to control what consenting adults do in private will fight it tooth and nail.
With decriminalisation must come properly funded help for those who wish to exit prostitution. This should include training in a variety of occupations together with counselling for those men and women engaged in sex work who feel that they would benefit from it.

I have launched a new blog (eroticstorytime.wordpress.com) which, as it’s title suggests deals with erotic fiction. I have thus far published one post which can be found at http://eroticstorytime.wordpress.com/2012/07/13/the-girl-in-the-park/. Please feel free to drop by. Kind regards, Someone

The pleasure of orgasm makes one forget the world for a moment, you become wrapped up in the intensity of the experience. Nothing else matters. You have entered another higher realm in which the world and it’s concerns drop away.
At it’s very best sex with prostitutes makes me feel like that. I’m transported to somewhere beautiful with no connection to this world. However having achieved my goal I’m left with the mundane task of picking up condoms from the carpet where they have been thrown or fallen and finding the wrappers in which my little friends came ensuring that they are consigned to the bin. Indeed the moment of bliss is all to brief and reality soon has me in his grip once more.
Sometimes after having had an encounter with a working girl I feel the need to walk. The scent of new cut grass combined with the smell of summer flowers forms a heady cocktail. The scents of summer and the singing of the birds are an orgasm of sorts, however their intensity is somehow more real than the excitement which I experience during sex with prostitutes.

Julie Bindel is well known for her advocacy of legislation criminalising those who pay for sex. Bindel’s argument goes as follows: prostitution is a form of modern day slavery. We abolished the slave trade and we now need to prohibit the buying of human beings for sex. Most of those engaged in prostitution did not (Bindel contends) enter the industry out of choice, most did so out of poverty and/or due to the sexual abuse which they suffered as children. Men need to be educated out of the belief that they “have a right” to pay for sex. Education combined with laws punishing those who pay for sex are, according to Bindel the answer to the problems associated with the oldest profession. If one goes after the punters then the demand for paid sex will decline to the benefit of prostitutes and society as a whole. (For an example of Bindel’s perspective see http://www.thefifthcolumn.co.uk/the-agitator/julie-bindel-on-why-paying-for-sex-is-wrong/).
There are a number of problems with Bindel’s perspective.
1. Slavery is the ownership of one human being by another person with the master possessing absolute power over the slave. On seeing a sex worker who has not been forced into prostitution (the majority of those engaged in the oldest profession enter into it voluntarily) the client is purchasing a sexual service (he is not, contrary to Bindel’s claim buying the sex worker).  Throughout the transaction the prostitute remains a free person and at the end of the encounter he/she departs as a free individual.   Having seen many escorts I can vouch for the fact that prostitution was not, in most cases  their first choice of career, however they have visited me and provided sexual services of their own free will, Bindel may not accept this statement but it remains true for all that.
2. Granted some of those engaged in prostitution suffered sexual abuse as children which is, of course a matter for utter condemnation. However the fact of childhood abuse does not render the prostitute incapable of making informed choices as an adult. He/she chooses to enter the profession and the customer can not be held responsible for that choice. Our upbringing no doubt predisposes us to certain courses of action but we retain the ability to override our childhood experiences (this is often hard but by no means impossible).
3. As for Bindel’s statement that no one has a right to pay for sex I’d turn this around and ask “by what right do you, Julie Bindel seek to criminalise those who are willing to pay for a service which is offered without coercion by many millions of sex workers?” Men (and women) do indeed have a right to purchase sex provided that those offering said service have not been forced into doing so.

In “Mirror” the Beautiful South sing about the experience of a prostitute selling sex in a brothel. The prostitute acknowledges that the customers have feelings “… They do have feelings but just right now I feel, a feminine recepticle, that’s just what I am, these things are above us whores. Just a best target practice for a misguided man, these things are above us whores …”. I won’t waffle on any more, here is the song http://www.last.fm/music/The+Beautiful+South/_/Mirror